Faith or Fear?

Wow!  I can't believe it has been so long since I bored the population with my rants on running.  School is back in session and I am busy as ever.  Another year coaching middle school cross country has come and gone.  Our last race was yesterday.  It was bitter sweet.  I ran with them a little more this season.  I am still very much aware and a bit self-conscious of the fact that all of them can out run me.  The fear of them losing faith, or trust in me has really held me back.  It is amazing how excited they would get when I ran along with them, even though the distance was short, and I was often wheezing like that penguin from Toy Story.  I vowed as the season ended (once again) that I would be ready to run with them next year.  We will see how that goes.

I have also discovered a pretty cool book.  It is called To Be a Runner by Martin Dugard.  I have loved reading about his adventures in running and coaching cross country.  (He is seriously like my brother from another mother.  Shout out to you Matin if you ever come across this blog).  You really should check it out.

So now on to actual running.  I have been doing quite a bit of that.  I have also been hitting the gym with my dad.  I love going to the gym with him!  He always has some interesting insights on life.  It is a nice time to catch up and maybe actually get in a little bit of weight training.

This summer, I was able to run for the first time with my little sister and niece.  They live in the Seattle area.  My sister has been a runner way longer than I have.  I was always afraid that if I ran with her, I would hold her back.  I know that I did, but she never made me feel that way.  Her encouragement helped me, and it was cool to run somewhere different.  I can't wait to run with her again and show her my improvement.

I have some crazy goals for 2015.  Call them very early New Year's Resolutions if you want to look at it that way.  One goal is to reach my goal weight by my next birthday.  I have until May!!!  The next is to run a half-marathon during the summer of 2015.  Both of these goals I have had for awhile now.  Both of them seem, at times, insurmountable.  As I was thinking about this,  I was reminded of this quote that keeps popping up, "let your faith be stronger than your fear."  Fear really holds you back.  I wonder how many things I have missed out on because I was afraid.  I have to decide whether I am going to continue to let that happen.  Only I can decide that.  Maybe that is what I really need to resolve to do...not lose weight or run a half-marathon, but to grow my faith.  My faith in myself.

I have work to do.
Chubby girl...out!